When I realized this philosophy didn’t just apply to things happening in life, but also to the thoughts we have in our heads, it made a huge difference in the thoughts I decided to hold onto. For every thought that pops up in your head, there is an opposite thought! The thought you choose to hold onto is the thought that becomes your words and then your actions and then your habits and then your reality. The side of the story you choose to hold onto is an important decision to make!
For every hateful and shameful thought that comes into my head about my body not working correctly, there is a story about how my body works beautifully as I live and breathe every day! For all the stories that pop up from fear about how my business won’t succeed or what I am doing is stupid, there are stories about how people feel better after taking my class or found information I shared helpful. For every story of shame I have felt, there is a story where what I did was meaningful in a positive and powerful way!
Everything in this world has two sides. We get the opportunity to see, look for, and believe in whichever side feels good. If believing my child is badly behaved makes me feel crazy, then I need to look for and believe all the ways my child is loving and fun. When brooding about how I think someone shouldn’t do something makes me angry, I need to instead see it as already being done and out of my control so why shouldn’t they? It’s not the behavior of others that upsets us. It’s our reaction to their behavior that gets us upset. It’s usually us thinking “they shouldn’t do that” or “this shouldn’t be happening.” The problem is, they did or it is, and we can’t control any of it. We resist and fight so much that is out of our control. This, I believe, is what causes our stress and our struggle. When we learn to let go of what we cannot control, we will release the stress and struggle. By letting go, I just mean to stop fighting. To let it be what it is. To sit with the uncomfortable feelings about it and let them pass through you. To acknowledge how you feel about them and know that it’s okay to feel that way, but that it’s a feeling and it too shall pass. Soon enough you will sit with the other side of it. Choose to sit on the side of it that feels good. The side that brings you joy and peace. Life is too short to spend it brooding in shame, anger, fear, or guilt. Find the other side and make the conscious choice to sit there! Remember, it’s a practice. It’s not always easy, and it’s a practice. Just start practicing.